Painful Love

How do we survive? How do we parse our lives; deal with personal needs, help those around us, make the world better, create. All at the same time? It’s insanity. Yet we must. It’s the only way to keep this thing we call civilization running. Many of us will fail. Most of us. Over 99%. But that’s a risk worth taking. We sacrifice ourselves.

So many of the important things in life are too complicated. Not that they can’t be broken down but when they are they’re just as dangerous. All sides have edges. 

I want love to drive me in all things. Love is powerful. It’s incredibly powerful. Dangerous at times. I can’t moderate it myself. I need someone else to absorb a portion of it. It’s like an echo chamber in my soul. The energy of it bounces and magnifies inside me. I can’t deal with it. I want so much. Too much.

When a massive star swells with energy it will form an Iron shell, encasing it. Up to a point. In some minute spot it weakens. As it breaks it releases a beam of energy so potent it could destroy all life on the earth. An act of nature that could snuff us out in an instant. Even light years away.

As the equation approaches infinite. As the memetic organism reaches a manic insanity. As the supernova bursts.

My love.


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