The Wrong Decision

Sometimes you all you can do is write. Or at least that’s true for me. Maybe you have some different way to cope with these errant thoughts.

I feel more acutely that I’m missing out on the world. That I’m isolated from people. It makes me desperate and then ashamed of being desperate. I can’t let people see it or they’d leave. It’s too much emotion, it’s too strong. So I compartmentalize it. I shut it off. Then I appear neutral or bland or boring.

Sometimes it’s better to not being in control of your life. Sometimes mistakes are what need to be made.

I was asked a hypothetical question once, which I’ve never gotten out of my mind. Have you ever regretted making the right decision? As in, did you make a decision based on your own moral principles, but you wished you had gone against them. Not in a situation where you’ve now changed your opinion on what was moral, but to actually regret living up to your own standards of goodness.

When I was first asked I’d have said no, that my morality is far too important to me.

Now I’m not so sure.

What about you?

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One thought on “The Wrong Decision

  1. Sounds a little like FOMO, which given the vastness of the world we will all miss out on certain things. Better to focus on the things that are important to you specifically than to spread yourself out to thin (this is a constant balancing act).

    Integrity/morality always has a cost. Acting in accordance to your values is usually the best thing you can do for yourself emotionally.

    It’s the times I didn’t behave in accordance to my principles that I am most ashamed of.

    Like

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