I’m passing on a pearl of wisdom I found very helpful in life. I learned it from Jacque Fresco. He’s an engineer who’s involved in an unorthodox movement, that while I find it fascinating, I don’t think I’d jump on board. It’s in the Futurist, Utopian, Technocrat milieu, but this isn’t about any of that. For whatever reason, in one of his talks he was discussing human interactions. What he said was that we are constantly hurt by those around us because we expect them to act in ways not in line with their past behaviour.

It feels like it’s just too obvious an idea to be useful, but it is (useful I mean). None of us have the same habits and manners. Some see tardiness as terrible, others it’s not responding to a call or ignoring basic hosting etiquette or not sharing food/drink. The list of things that can annoy and disappoint people is long.
Very Long.

Then for some reason people assume we all agree on what is proper. There is absolutely a baseline of mutual understanding people need to get along together. The problems is with the degree of which thing is more important than the others. We all have the friend who’s late, who’s stingy, who’s non-communicative, or who’s just a downer.

You are responsible for who you interact with. It is not their fault you’re friends with them. Accept them for who they are, faults and all. It’s just like with a partner, you can’t go into a relationship trying to change them into the person you want. That’s selfish and almost certainly going to fail. If you can’t deal with their faults, then you shouldn’t continue associating with them. That’s it. It’s simple.

Remember this the next time you’re waiting on that friend who’s always late. Stop stewing and learn to enjoy the time you have.

You’re wasting your life being angry at people for acting exactly as you know they will.


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